phiilosopher's jokes

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>>>>By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
>>>>Socrates
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>>>>Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
>>>>Subject:  Philosopher's Comments on Wives....

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
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>>>>David Bissonette
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>>>>After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
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>>>>Sacha Guitry
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>>>>Anonymous
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>>>>The great question. which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
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>>>>Dumas
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>>>>I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
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>>>>Sigmund Freud
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>>>>'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
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>>>>Anonymous
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>>>>'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
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>>>>Sam Kinison
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>>>>'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
>>>>The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
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>>>>James Holt McGavra
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>>>>Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.
>>>>1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
>>>>2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
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>>>>Patrick Murra
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>>>>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
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>>>>Nash
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>>>>You know what I did before I married?
>>>>Anything I wanted to.
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>>>>Anonymous
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>>>>My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
>>>>Then we met.
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>>>>Henny Youngman
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>>>>A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
>>>>
>>>>Rodney Dangerfield
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>>>>A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
>>>>They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
>>>>
>>>>Anonymous
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>>>>
>>>>First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
>>>>Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'